One is the magic number!

I was thinking of starting a new blog.. again! Its loading! Keep your eyes open for it!

I know I do not post enough. I have no excuses and I owe nobody any explanations... since I have no readers! *airpunch*

Late twenties are knocking, in  a week I will be 27!!

I tried to do a "25 for 26" last year, which was a list of the 25 lessons I had learnt on the dawn of turning 26. I did it on my phone and lets just leave it there.

I have been really investing time in my personal development for this year and it has changed my life! One thing I learnt is that you must set yourself up for failure by having goals you know you cant achieve. It discourages you and chips away at your self belief and you need to be the captain of your team!

Discovering and applying the teachings of people like Les Brown, T Harv Eker, Zig Ziglar, Dr Myles Munroe, Lou Tice, Robin Banks has really taken my confidence and effectiveness to another level!
The power of words, planning, visualisation and persistence assure you of a measure of success!
God really created us the solutions to the problems we face! He put it all in us and its up to us to draw it out! Dig deep into your well and draw out water to refresh yourself and those around you!

I was at Jill Scott last night and she ministered to my soul! I loved, comforted, confronted and forgave myself in that arena. Her words took me by the heart and led me to the confession room of my soul. Not everything requires the mind. I took responsibility for my inaction. There were plenty times along this "ride" where I could and should have hopped off because I knew this was not going in the direction I desire. People say I am on the way to Utopia, but that ride felt like I was going Downtown.  I am actually working to her musings and I will share the links below.
She was beautiful, raw, larger than life presence, honest.. in her words "motherfucker, I'm grown"

Her voice was the bridge between where I am and where I need to be. She teleported me. This could have been a process that would have taken some time, but she got my GPS location and quickly got me to my destination, like Uber. I could have spent time looking at a map, trying to connect by bus, shuttle, train and done some walking. She got this word from God and shared it with us:

"Before each breath, before each blink, I am the millisecond before the millisecond that causes you to think".

I went to sleep like this!

I knew about Jill Scott as a person, but I didn't know Jill Scott as a woman and a sista! yeah, yeah I know its cliche to say sista- but I used to have dreads so I'm allowed to use that term!

Finally, I have some really great plans for this blog for next year and the first one is INTEGRATION!

Create the beast with my social media accounts

I am getting some professional assistance so I can do something truly amazing and create this to be the platform I know it can be!

Keep safe these holidays and allow God to minister to each of you this holiday! Looking forward to 2015:

Words to live by

Some Jill Scott goodies: Ok I am in my feelings so the song choice isnt the most up beat, but everything must not be turnt!

God hears us!

I love the lyrics! I love how she recognises her strength but isnt afraid to confess she needs love!

This song sounds much better live!

My theme song for the rest of my twenties!

Here am I...

It's incredibly selfish of me to say that I feel helpless. What about the girls? What about their families? What about their friends and their fellow citizens?



I think as a woman, I can make my case.But on what grounds? I have never been in a situation like that. I decided to reach out to Malala because she is a girl that faced terrorism in the name of religion. Its not that I wanted to move the problem from my heart to her mouth, but I felt that would be me doing something through her. I found that she has given a comment which wound up on blogs .

I know I am not the only one who considers this breaking news. This is as big and important as the missing MH 370 plane. There are lives that are unaccounted for. There are family members who wake up to the reality that their daughter is not at home, they have no idea what condition she is in and they don't know if they will ever see her again.

The pain in the hearts of the Chinese families is the same anguish in the hearts of the Nigerian families. Both families have answered questions. The government of Malaysia and Nigeria were both blind sided by terrorism and the citizens paid the price.

Boko Haram is a militant Islamic group based in Nigeria. The group is responsible for numerous attacks on communities, schools and recently bombed a terminus with buses in Abuja. I have family in Nigeria and my cousin wants to leave Nigeria, especially in the wake of the elections next year. I dont want to focus on the terrorists because they dont need more attention.

I want to focus on the girls and their families. They are the ones in need. We cannot forget this story, we cannot sweep this situation under the rug. Where is the help? Who is there to help?

I have a feeling that this will get me in trouble:

In my feelings

I have been in my feelings for a while now. It has everything   something to do with my finances. I don't want to get into too much detail but, this is a really difficult period for me in that respect.

I have done work that I haven't been paid for and it sucks. Its unfair. I'm hurting so badly right now, in terms of my pride and productivity. I actually no longer want to work because I don't see the correlation between my input and my output.

Yu'up

So I have been in my feelings because of this. BUT! On the upside I met some really good quality people doing a course called "Investing in Excellence", conducted by the Pacific Institute. This course has just blown open parts of my life that I had hidden away for so long. Coping mechanisms are ok up to a certain point, but they can be dangerous when they outlive their usefulness. My dislike of vulnerability is one such coping mechanism which has adversely affected my ability to connect with others.

Last week, while bootlegging music, I decided to look for Darlene Zschech's new album  and visited her blog. I discovered that she has cancer. I jumped right out my feelings and I have subsequently bought her album on iTunes!She recorded this album with the knowledge that she has cancer. Now she is going through her chemo and she posts the most encouraging scriptures. Her body is under siege  by this disease, but she has such peace. I wanted to buy her album to hear what she has to say to God after He allowed her to have this disease. I don't have money in the bank, but I have my health. I have a fully functioning body. 

3 John 1:2 says  Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.

It forced me to count my blessings. 

At this same time last year I was facing one of the most difficult times of my life. God got me out of that situation, I saw God fighting for me. This song got me through me the difficult time. He is still the same God. 

I used to play this song in my office last year, trusting God for freedom from that situation. A year later, I am playing it from my home. Where will I be when I play it next year???

In Jesus Name...........

Gotta have faith!

I have no elaborate lies or stories that could sound vaguely true.  I haven't even thought of the blog for writing purposes, but finding a way to keep it from prying eyes. This is my blog and I'm a creative who is sensitive about my stuff! However if it isn't critiqued, I will not grow and this will defeat the purpose of its "creation".

Anyway, I was washing dishes on a rainy Monday night after some dramatic cooking! I tried to make my own protein bars using a 4 step recipe that almost finished my protein! Then the darn "bars" didn't set so it look like.. what a mixture of oats, chocolate protein, peanut butter and water look like when its runny and full of texture. Use your damn imagination!

I was reunited with my JVC MP3 player last week after I last used it in 2010 and I decided to load some old music onto it!

Then this song played (Faith by George Michael)

I have been listening to this song since 2009, when it was constantly played in the series Eli Stone about a lawyer who hears from God. Go figure why I would watch something like that???!!!

Today the part struck me the most was:

Well I need someone to hold me
But I'll wait for something more

Yes I've got to have faith....

With everyone meeting someone or wanting to meet someone- the scenarios are endless but there is someone and there is you (me). Listen here self:  you gotta have faith!

If you think you are tired of being single and just want to rush into any relationship then...

This was also quite interesting:

Before this river

Becomes an ocean
Before you throw my heart back on the floor

Justin didn't think of that title all by himself! George taught him!

You have just gotta have faith!

Ps: How hot is/was George Michael??? That video/ song was released in 1987, if he walked down the street like that in 2014, it would cause quite the stir!!!

Relentless

This is my first post for the year. Although in my mind, I've written a post everyday for the last 30 days, I just haven't typed them out yet.

This reminds me of a concept in the protection of intellectual property- basically you cant protect an idea. It has to be written down in order for you to register and protect it.
Habakkuk 2:2 says

  "Write down the revelation
    and make it plain on tablets
    so that a herald[b] may run with it."

If its important, write it down!

I am in no way saying that this blog is not important it to me! It is, but I failed to make time for my dream and used it to invest in other peoples dreams eg watching TV. When Lena Dunham created the very weird show "Girls", it was her dream and now that its on air- her dream has come true! When I spend time watching a show like that, which is so morally corrupt- I add to the ratings and invest her in dream. While on the other end, my own dream is dying!

Now I am ranting!!

Ok, now to get to the point on this post. Finally!

Hmmmmm, so I decided to go on the Daniel Fast for 21 days of the month of January. I wont lie, of course I could see the added benefit of fasting right after the Christmas feasting! I will not act holier than thou on this one. Lisa Bevere calls it "giving birth to the Christmas baby".

For those who are unfamiliar with this, it was a request by Daniel and his friends when they arrived at the Kings palace and did not want to eat rich foods served in the palace.  

Daniel 1:12 
12 “Please test your servants for ten days: Give us nothing but vegetables to eat and water to drink."

The result was:
Daniel 1:15
15 At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food.

Then at a different interval, Daniel was praying and he decided to fast for 3 weeks, mourning and seeking the Lord.

Daniel 10:2 
"I ate no choice food; no meat or wine touched my lips; and I used no lotions at all until the three weeks were over."

There is so much on the internet about foods are allowed and what is not. I just make sure that I do not eat any meat, eggs, dairy and try to keep out processed food as much as I can. 

I had a curve ball thrown my way, well its actually a huge blessing but a curve ball for the fast because I had to go out of town for over a week. I was so fortunate that the inn keeper was a bubbly and kind woman who went to great lengths to accommodate my very restrictive eating. She got very creative. I remember I had a taco shell filled with baked beans and lettuce! 

During the last week of the fast, I asked myself "how much have I come to learn about God in this time? Do I feel closer to Him? Has our relationship improved?" I was stunned. I had no tangible answers. Yeah, I am incorporating (or trying very hard to) Robin Sharma's "Holy Hour" concept into my life , and I did read the Tamar chapter in Francine Rivers' book. 

I cant say my prayer life has grown, I cant say I've learnt more about worship. Then I was starting to feel the frustration of fasting- and I knew its because I was focusing on my flesh- not on the Spirit. I was basically missing the convenience of being carnivorous! 

Then I was reminded:

Matthew 4:4 "People do not live by bread alone,
    but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’[a]”

I had been spending all my free time watching  series TV filled with sex and bad language during this time. My mind and soul were not changing- they were still feasting on the things I find pleasurable- except for Beyonce, I said no Beyonce from the start. I have now decided to dedicate the last week of the fast, completely to the Lord in body, mind, soul and spirit.

Luke 10:27
 The man answered, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.’ And, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”[a]

I was sitting at my desk on a Sunday night and decided to play around with my phone, while thinking of a clause to draft and because I had refreshed my Instagram and there were no new feeds. I came across Podcast's and I had never used the function before- I've had the phone since November.

I found a few Podcast channels that I subscribed to, including Messenger International and  I downloaded the message on "Changing the way you see". Lisa Bevere was talking about fasting! If anyone has a way to download, it will change your perspective on fasting! I was seeing all wrong. I had to want to know more about God and He led me to the Podcast's, because I have never looked into it, I update the app but I had never used it.

Proverbs 8:17 "I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me."

2 Chronicles 15:2 
So he went out to meet Asa and said to him, “Asa and all Judah and Benjamin, hear me. The Lord is with you when you are with Him. If you seek Him, He will be found by you, but if you abandon Him, He will abandon you."

I cant peg this on anything else, other than that I sought Him and He led me to Him via Podcasts! Talk about sense of humour and mysterious ways!

It made me think of the song by Hillsong "Relentless". Gods love is relentless. 

Tearing through the veil of darkness
Breaking every chain, You set us free
Fighting for the furthest heart You gave
Your own life for all to see

Relentless is defined as 

continuing without becoming weaker, less severe, etc.

remaining strict or determined

God consistently and constantly tears through, breaks through, reaches out to us. He will use donkeys and Podcasts to bring us to Him.  

How we met..

Every Friday, and a little more often recently, I check out Bella Naija, the weddings segment. 

Im enthralled by the beautiful bride, the size of the ring, the wedding colours, the decor, the groomsmen,the grooms excitement, the ceremony, the reception, the photos of the newly married couple, the traditional wedding which shows the rich culture of the couples and the fashion display by the guests. The pictures are so clear and the each moment is captured with such conciseness, you can taste the egusu and small the sweat as they alingo the night away!

However, my absolute most favourite part of each feature is "How we met", where the bride and groom recount how their worlds collided. There are the childhood sweethearts, those who met in university, some met on BBM, others met through mutual friends, some were set up by relatives and others in a club. 

I like to read about black love, African love especially in a time like this where it seems fidelity and commitment are as ridiculous as Paris Hilton's singing career.

 

I would like to marry a Nigerian man, only if its according to God's plan for my life of course, but its really not that serious! The stories show that it can happen anywhere! You can stumble across this man anywhere- at a party you didn't want to go to, your aunts house when you are in your gym clothes, basically- there is no formula!

There is a greater story though! The story of how Jesus just loved us. I think this is how it panned out; Jesus was sitting at the right hand of the Father, just looking at us while we were being ratchet:

This is just wrong!

This takes the cup in 2013

Then He looked a little further at what was coming for us. He knew He had to save us. We were going to find ourselves in a place we like to tell each other go to, but I doubt anyone wants to go there: HELL.

He got up and said "No, I won't let them. Even if it costs me my life." He looked at us and loved us while we were oblivious. Love is God's thing. Its not our thing. Our thing is to be champions of chaos! 

When I'm stirred up about love stories, I am actually being stirred up to look upon the one who:

Bring out the tissues now! This is love.. He put us on top and came down! Jesus wanted to come and God sent Him. I think it was a bittersweet day in heaven as they watched Jesus descend and get so small that He fit in a girls womb! It was a glorious affair when He ascended back and now they are preparing a place for us too! 

I don't know how those Bella Naija weddings end. Happily ever after isn't always guaranteed, but with God it pretty much is!

The Royal Ramble

It has been a minute!

I actually dont have any good excuses with regards to my silence. I have been observing and living.

First thing I want to share is:

37 days down!

I do not step on a scale, because it is from the devil and we all know the devil is a liar! I rather use a measuring tape- I have lost 4 cm on my hips, 1 inch on the waist and 2 inches off my underbust! My clothes are sitting much better. I do try hard to make better food choices. It is hard, very hard physically- but it is also a mental exercise. You have to focus, you have to watch your posture and form! Everyday I pray "God, please no injuries or I cant do insanity!" and guess what? God has granted me 37 days injury free. 

I started phase 2 yesterday and I really felt like giving up this morning. I felt gutted, like there was nothing more to give! Then I saw this:

                                           "If you take short cuts, you dont earn anything."

I am making myself fit, fast, strong, lean, healthy and hot! I will report back @ day 63 and maybe Ill be brave enough to show some photos #yikes.

Secondly, bullying related suicides are something I am learning about now. It is devastating me. I cant believe that kids think their only escape is death and that these bullies have no boundaries. I believe the answer lies in corporal punishment- yes I said it. You wanna be a bully? You will get a beating or whatever politically correct term is out there now. Parents must discipline their children at home and also teach them that they are valued, precious and encourage them to be confident. Feed them Psalm 139.

I will admit that I used to be a bully in primary school. I was a troubled and troublesome kid. I was intelligent, but was and still am very playful and had a nasty mouth. I was a serious tomboy,so my mom enrolled me for "Finishing touches" classes which ended abruptly after I called the teacher a racist- I was 10. My body was also developing at a very different rate from the other girls, as I witnessed in the changing rooms so it affected my confidence and I became a snitch- describing their bodies to the boys. When I look back now..

The worst thing I did was to snoop around my dads office, he is a lawyer and find a file relating to the family of a girl in my class. Her parents were getting a divorce. I took it upon myself to be the bearer of that news, she was devastated. She didnt know this. Another girl got really upset with me and started crying because her dad left her family when she was young and divorce was a sore spot for her.

 I know..

After that my parents sent me to Zimbabwe where there was no time that mess!!! I was too focused on learning and trying to avoid a beat down from the teacher for all that nonsense. Hence I know that the cane can reduce bullying incidents. However the reason I did that to that girl is because I was insecure. She was very pretty, blonde hair, blue eyes, skinny and a sweet person. The opposite of me. If I had been more secure and confident in myself, I would have befriended her- instead I was friends with Eleanor and Nick both of whom didnt brush their teeth, ate ants and licked the wax out of your ear!

I have forgiven myself and I really hope that all the people I bullied can forgive me too.

Then there is this kid:

I saw his video on Instagram the other day, but just thought it was a once off chubby lil kid doing his thing! I didnt know that he is doing his thang and is kind of a big deal, no pun intended.

He has become quite the sensation! Its great that he has made some headlines at 6, but I wonder what for and for how long? I do not support the people that are bashing him, calling him fat and questioning what is happening with his education. Those people are not coming from a place of concern for his health or his future, they are envious. They will die without ever interacting with half the people Lil Cuz Terio has come in contact with or even the money he is clearly making. He has defied stereotypes- he is a dark skinned lil chubkins who has come on the scene to "Oooh Kill Em".

Those people attacking him need to remember this, he is 6 years old. Why is there so much "hate" and negativity coming towards him? I don't see people responding this way to Sofia Grace and Rosie, instead we thought it was cute and adorable to see these little british white girls trying to rap!

What is so different and terrible about what Terrio is doing? My only concern is the profanity in the music and of course his health.

Maybe Sofia Grace should fire Rosy and hire Terrio! I'll leave you with that thought!